insomniumirae | (no subject)

Maybe, but you like me. You wouldn't be wasting your time with me otherwise.

I do like you. Just as you won't let just anyone call you pathetic, I wouldn't let just anyone hold me like this.

So for you, I really am the only one who can touch you like this.

[ and it's obvious with the way his voice sounds that he really likes that ]

[He scoffs.]

Sometimes I don't know why I took your silly, little promise.

[But then he pauses.]

That's a lie. I know exactly why I took it. But it is still your fault. Though I don't think you care.

[It is definitely teasing over malice.]

Maybe because it was sincere.

... I did run into some difficulties with Caeli after telling him about my promise to you. It's not something I gave you without any thought.

Does he think I'll mistreat you? Or does he want you for himself?

I think it's both.

He's also worried that your bleaker outlook on things will get to me.

But I'll always be with you, so it doesn't matter if reality is bleak.

And that's exactly why I promised myself to you.

[ he'll shift so he can kiss him again, this time on the lips ]

Besides, it isn't as if you are telling me anything I don't already know.

[He accepts it, nipping lightly back.]

Good.

I'm curbing my jealousy. He should applaud my restraint.

I like the jealousy. But I appreciate your restraint.

You and the emotions you bring out are exhausting.

[Leaning to look up at his face.]

What a handful.

I still find emotions exhausting too. So you're not on your own with that.

You are more masochistic than I am.

[Running a thumb under his bottom lip.]

Mm ...

[ he takes that as invitation for another kiss, leaning in to do just that ]

It's becoming worth it to deal with them. Even if it still hurts. ... Lately I have been feeling as though I do have a heart after all.

[He laughs in his face.]

Don’t tell me you are trying to be a human.

No.

I've given that up a long time ago and I have no desire to join their ranks.

Human lives are still laughably short and they still go about their days as if they have all the time in the world despite that. Even if I no longer hate them I could never see myself as one of them.

But connecting to other people, whether they human or not, feels good. You can feel that too, no? You are connecting with me.

But you are like me. Of course it feels nice to connect to you. Now I don’t have to be one of a kind.

[Propping up on his elbows resting on his chest.]

Good. You’d be a fool to try to be one of them. And I’d call you an idiot if you asked me to.

You don’t need a heart.

And you? Do you feel as if you need one, with two Gnosis to fill that void?

(no subject)

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