insomniumirae | (no subject)

[ how to put it ]

Not exactly. But finding out about it changed my perspective. In the end it was the truth that changed me.

Though I'm not sure saying I "changed" is correct either. I accepted myself and my pitiful past.

So I'm 'pitiful' now.

[He scoffs. There isn't any bite to it as he curls up in his arms.]

Whatever. You still wanted to see it. The Sumeru I preside over. I still need a second terminal, so you'll have to wait for that.

You would agree to it this time, right?

We both were pitiful back then, weren't we? When we walked into that furnace with that heart.

I'll take it, this time. But I won't keep it on all the time. Is that fine?

We were.

[To the question he responds affirmatively by kissing his neck.]

Just for things better shown than spoken. With death and other side effects, it would be too dangerous to keep on all the time.

[ he tilts his head for him at that, keeping with his caresses too, definitely wanting to keep staying close like this and enjoying his presence ]

It would be. Either of us could take advantage of it during a death hangover, to start with.

... I do also have a pendant that allows me to visit dreams. If you want to show me sooner rather than later, I could visit them like so.

Encroaching on my domain, are you?

It would be a better alternative than trapping you in an endless loop. Fine. When we find a spare moment, I will ask you about it.

Mm. I thought the power a little distasteful, given my circumstances. But looking at it that way makes it more bearable.

Something we share despite our different circumstances.

[He just laughs. He knows it a sore spot with Mochi, but he's simply entertained by the irony of it.]

You like that. Finding similarities between us. Not that I blame you.

[He wraps his arms around his middle nails biting just a little.]

You are in charge of cleaning us up once we move. It's all part of the devotion you mentioned earlier. And I've had enough with menial chores.

I like finding the differences, too. But I do enjoy seeing that even after taking different paths somet hings ended up being close enough.

As for that ...

Let me enjoy you like this for a little while longer, and then I'll take care of you.

More than a little while.

[He has no intention of moving as he brushes a knee across skin.]

Close enough? Don't compare us just yet. You've got a lot to learn. Though if you always stayed like this I wouldn't mind either.

Oh? So you like my differences too.

[Don't call him out.]

Except when you are pathetic. You can get rid of that.

[No, he still likes him even when he is pathetic in his skewed sense of the word.]

[ there's a soft laugh at that, and then he leans in to kiss his cheek ]

But since you are the only one who is allowed to call me pathetic, doesn't that mean it also has value?

It's not a term of endearment!

Since it is from you, I'll still take it as that.

[Mochi: 1]

[What does he even do with this?]

You're weird.

Maybe, but you like me. You wouldn't be wasting your time with me otherwise.

I do like you. Just as you won't let just anyone call you pathetic, I wouldn't let just anyone hold me like this.

So for you, I really am the only one who can touch you like this.

[ and it's obvious with the way his voice sounds that he really likes that ]

[He scoffs.]

Sometimes I don't know why I took your silly, little promise.

[But then he pauses.]

That's a lie. I know exactly why I took it. But it is still your fault. Though I don't think you care.

[It is definitely teasing over malice.]

Maybe because it was sincere.

... I did run into some difficulties with Caeli after telling him about my promise to you. It's not something I gave you without any thought.

Does he think I'll mistreat you? Or does he want you for himself?

I think it's both.

He's also worried that your bleaker outlook on things will get to me.

But I'll always be with you, so it doesn't matter if reality is bleak.

And that's exactly why I promised myself to you.

[ he'll shift so he can kiss him again, this time on the lips ]

Besides, it isn't as if you are telling me anything I don't already know.

(no subject)

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